I’m FUCKED. I guess this is the first time i don’t know what to do. Practically homeless, work hours were cut back, and I’m drowning in loans. What can you do? I have a plan, but this plan, the best plan i can think of, will not happen over night.
It’s been A WHILE since I posted anything.
I have accidently knocked pizzas out of my Manager’s hands, cried in front of tables I have served, and eaten a meal a day since I’ve been here. Friends have called me for advice on…LIFE, options and decisions, and mindsets. I don’t care if one meal a day is bad for me. I don’t care if I have had a “rough childhood”. I don’t care if you decide to order a chocolate souffle with A La Haagen Dazs. I don’t care if you say, “hey hey hey Tony, you should quit smoking”
Now I’m gonna flirt, change out my work clothes, and then go to the studio…TIME IS PRECIOUS.
Big self-portrait - Chuck Close, 1977
(Submitted by hegavemeheads)
I’ve seen this in person MFA Boston’s special collections. you can see the grid lines if ya look close enough
hahaha this made my day…
I’m crying. HAAAAA
I’ve been looking out the studio window a lot lately and I am always wondering about car dealerships. Well I’ve really only been wondering about this one dealership across the tree-belt, the trax’ tracks, and the street. I think it’s called “Thrifty Cars”. The sign is blue and for some odd reason I thought it was a car rental place. The windows are floor to roof with a square and simple space. SO I can easily see the whole inside. There is a desk but I never see anyone behind it. Well i think I lied. I can’t remember if I thought/imagined or actually saw a man in a white shirt.
Apart from imagining skating the ramp up to the side door, I think about why there are still a few cars in the lot. I also ask why there is a different one every week. If there is a different car every week, does that mean they are secretly selling these vehicles behind my back? I guess that is kind of crazy or selfish to think, and maybe it’s not so selfish because I am sitting in a chair in front of the studio every day. Sometimes I even wonder about how many times a certain person has passed me by. The train passes by too so I’m sure there is someone who wonders about me as I wonder about the train. But it is fun to think about. And why would a car dealership keep a maximum of 3 vehicles?
SO they are obviously open for business, but I refuse to admit that they are. This brought be to whole other thing. I began thinking about how it must be stressful and terrible for a car dealership to go out of business. The transition must suck. It’s a slow yet futile deterioration for this “special” dealership. One by one I’m guessing. I know car dealerships aren’t the only type of business that have to endure this slow deterioration, but it seems a lot more stressful to me. But if they never sell the rest of the cars, I can imagine it would be painful to have to be the one to drive each one off the lot each day. So yeah, only one can be taken off each day. It’s also depressing to think about how this was someone’s LIFE. What was his name? And I know he is probably Mormon and a bit business savvy. What I mean by that is that I feel as though Mormons are mostly all business savvy and radiate some kind of perfectionist/proper vibe.
I could go on and on about this, but I should really be at the studio working on something or maybe even wondering about this all to myself with the visual of the dealership across the street. This all might not make any sense. I think I am in “starving mode”